| Archive for Gay Worcester Forum Local Forum For The Worcestershire LGBT Community |
| admin |
Coming out... Suggestions?coronafate@hotmail.co.ukIt was recently discovered by my general circle of friends that I'm bisexual (Technically, anyway... It'd take a STUNNER of a girl to turn my head)... anyway, they were all very accepting, as I suspected they would be. The trouble arises when it comes to my dad. I want to let him know about me, to truly drop the facade I've been longing to shed for so many years... but it's a daunting undertaking. The timing is wrong right now due to the recent death of his Father, my Grandfather. Does anyone have any stories or suggestions that could help in this situation? |
| admin |
Re: Coming out... Suggestions?malcolmwr5@tiscali.co.ukHi Corona, I have read your forum message (9.50pm Fri 16.06.06).....where you ask "if anyone has any suggestions that could help" hope you don't mind me replying to your message? I think it's Great that on "discovering" your sexuality your general circle of friends have "as you suspected they would be" been very accepting of you - they will obviousley be a good support for you....but what is even better is that they are accepting YOU for being YOU! which I would imagine is all you actually want them to do - as you have NOT grown another HEAD (or any extra body part) you are only (as you say)wanting your Dad to know about you - so that you do not have to carry on the FACADE - I would suggest that there should be no immediate rush to talk with your Dad yet! especially as you mention that at present he is going through the emotions and bereavemnet of losing his Father, although I promise you there is never a GOOD time to tell anyone (especially Family)something that is very important but which you have No Control or knowledge into how they may react when you choose to tell them! 2nd suggestion that may help you - is print off your original question to this site and any replies you receive - this will either help you now and / or help you when you choose to have the conversation with your Dad (Never be tempted tell anyone something that is vitally important to you in a heated Discussion, Argument or Row situation - should the probability of that situation happen to arise)- You are still YOU whatever you decide , your just trying be upfront and honest with your Dad - You do not mention how you normally get on with him - what kind of general relationship you usually have? but your usual relationship with a Family member is a good indicator to how much you have to gain (NOT TO LOSE) - REMEMBER he will NOT have LOST ANYTHING but gained an AWFUL LOT. Good luck & Tak care Malcolm x |
| Corona |
Thank you for replying.
I get on famously with my dad. He raised me as a single parent so we're really close. I'm not in a dire rush to tell him but I'd like to share with him when the time is right. ... and I understand that by sharing with him I'd not be trying to hurt him, but to let him know that I trust and love him enough to share all of what I am with him. I would never think of using something this delicate as ammunition in an arguement. I trust that there is a chance that he'll accept me but there is always that natural niggling worry that he'd be unable to accept the revelation. he was raised in the age when bigotry and prejudice were the norm. I've never known him to display any prejudice before now but it is still a worry. Well, I say he hasn't displayed any prejudice... which is technically true... but I did try to subtly broach the subject in the past, not so as he'd catch on (I hope), it just kind of came up. The subject of sexuality came up through a TV show and one of my 'friends' (not one who knows... and I only call him 'friend' out of habit) who was there made a derogatory comment about homosexuals... Long story short, I ended up asking what he (my dad) would do if I was gay. He just went kind of quiet and thoughtful for a few moments and then said; 'I don't know.' (so there's a possibility he already has an idea). So I really have no idea how he'll react when I tell him... but I still feel it's something he has the right to know... whether the outcome is good or otherwise.[/i] C. |